Sunday, August 3, 2014

A Common Victim


 The most common definition of a victim lies very simple. An individual suffering or suffered pain (physical or mental), superfluous of trauma. When we talk about pain, the term itself carries an indefinite amount of burden that can doom anyone of us.

Nevertheless human life is full of uninvited pain, being different every time for everyone.  In this curios series of pain and phantom, most of us snub the fact that we fall into that common group of victim who has not actually walked into the shoes of unturned anguish but still endure its countenance.

Lying on my bed, one such dark night when I just happened to wake up and close the window, my eyes fell on the melancholic road, breeze at its high and the moon sizzling with its beauty to compliment it. 

I was stuck there for the complete night reviving my greatest inner fears. Fears which I never encountered, albeit, I was a victim to each one of them!

Like every stranded women I am arousing the most common victim within us which has incited fear and horrified us to no extent – Being Raped!

Though I have never been molested, raped, gang raped lured, harassed, assaulted, ragged, narked or vexed by anyone I still fear moving out alone during nights, passing those nukkads encircling the gangs of Romeos, Lull lanes, dark roads, streets with construction work and so on. I would prefer taking the longest but the safest way to my home which keeps busy.

I am not married yet,  and it’s a beautiful dream for me but still I’m apprehensive of this idea for the fear of  being burnt by mother-in-law, beaten-up by my husband, abused by my sister-in-law, harassed by my brother-in-law , asked to stay In purdah or forced to abort my baby girl. I am an educated, graduate, professional earning a lot and I subside that I will never let these happen with me. But again though I have never faced it, or will never come across such situation, I’m being a victim to it internally and refrain a question to myself what if it comes true?.

I don’t have kids, perhaps I am stringent to the idea that if they turn out to be those wicked ones, who would not shoulder me at my anile days. I do not want to be one of those pitted mother being sent to old age home.

I am a daughter, and like every simple child I love my parents, value their hard work and their struggle to up bring us and give a luxurious life. I am just 23 now with no marriage proposals, but the dowry custom in my country has fled anguish in me.

 I would never allow any dowry on my marriage and believe the relationship between the two families should be bonded with love, care, warmth and not money. Still I fear my father’s honour and esteem if questioned just end new Mercedes to the groom and platters full of cash notes. Even if he agrees , be a daughter who would refuse the marriage than letting him bow ! 

Left with nothing that i could say to satiate my own self, lying that i'm fine,  i closed my watery eyes and went back to bed!!

The simple idea to write this post is to share my most intruded fears that are common with you all.  The one’s facing this is not the only victim but we all are victims to such things happening in and around us.  The ideologies that we hold need a serious revolution.

As it’s said, cleanliness begins from home, if every home takes up the obligation to restrict these to be born inside their walls, the world would be so peaceful.

We don’t need to push our relatives, neighbor hoods, society, city or country, but just an individual responsibility is enough to live a life of peace and harmony.

It’s every “I “who should change before “we”.  

Do comment/write if you feel to add more to this topic. If you think you have a mouth that needs ears, do reply.

The war within has not ended. Will be back again on this!!